Happy Birthday Flynn!!

12138411_983538519265_5511080474556329672_o

My name is Emery Flynn. I go by Flynn.  He was born on October 12, 2015. I prefer he/him pronouns. I am gender fluid. I am still exploring my gender identity.

I prefer masculine clothes because I feel they express my gender best, but there are days I like to look pretty.

I have bought new clothes and cologne. I have started styling my hair differently. Tomorrow I’m actually getting my hair cut which I’m excited and nervous about.

This didn’t happen overnight. I slowly built to this new identity. I started by accepting that I could be gender fluid. I looked at groups Facebook and Google. Reading blogs and watching Youtube videos.

After I accepted that the term gender fluid fit me, I started talking to people who were gender fluid, transgender, or other non-binary identity. I wanted to learn how they experienced they gender identities and learn how they learned about their gender expression.

Once I became comfortable with the information, I wanted to try to start smelling like a guy. I went to the store with my girlfriend and checked out a couple of deodorants.  We settled Speedstick Ocean Surf. She recommended that I buy an out from the mens clothes section.  I bought mens underwear, jeans, and a shirt.  The deodorant was nice, but didn’t make me smell quite how I wanted so I also bought Old Spice Pure Sport.

When I came home and put the underwear on, it was such an amazing feeling! I felt so giddy. They fit and felt good. It was like what I had been looking for. I put on my new pants and shirt and felt like I could be a guy!

I slowly started referring to myself in my head as he. The other day I referred to myself as he, when talking to a friend. That’s when I decided that I wanted to be referred to by he/him by my friends and family. My situation is a little different which one of the great things about gender fluidity is. With my husband, I still prefer she/her pronouns because with him I feel feminine in our relationship. I love being his wife and I feel those pronouns honor me.  For other relationships, I go by other pronouns to fit my role. The pronoun one person goes by doesn’t have to fit their sex or gender expression; it’s whatever honors them the best.

I’m still figuring a lot of this out, but I think I’m doing pretty well so far. Please ask me any questions. I really would like any advice or to help anyone who needs it or make friends along the way.

12068482_983538349605_1762920254640333250_o

Advertisements

Entering A New World

I have made some self discoveries about myself over the last year and am finally ready to share them with the world. For those who are not open-minded or do not want to read about controversial topics this your chance to click the red x in the upper right corner and never look at this particular post again. I won’t promise this disclaimer in all of my future posts, but this is going to be the most shocking for those who know me. I’m giving you a chance to continue to live in bliss if you would like.

I am going to be using newly learned vocab even to me so I will try to include that in this blog. However if there’s a word you don’t know, you can message or even google it. That’s how I’ve learned a lot of I’m writing about.

Now to the meat of the blog.

Part 1-Sexuality

I’m Pansexual. This means that I am attracted to a person regardless their gender identity. http://www.stop-homophobia.com Uses the Definition: pansexuals have the capability of attraction to others regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. A pansexual could be open to someone who is male, female, transgender, intersex, or agendered/genderqueer.

This of course doesn’t mean that I like everyone or that I am attracted to everyone. Just like you reading this blog have certain attributes that you like when looking at an attractive person, I do as well. Being pansexual does not mean that I am attracted to everyone and will sleep with anyone. It just means that I have the ability to love or am openness to all genders and gender identities.

Part 2-Polyamory

I state what I do in part 1, because it’s important for the 2nd part of the story. I am in a polyamorous relationship with my husband. He’s fully aware of it (it wouldn’t be polyamorous if he didn’t).
The definition that I really like for polyamory is from http://www.morethantwo.com. They also have a fantastic book that we are in the process of reading. The definition is as follows polyamory  is the non-possessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously. Polyamory emphasizes consciously choosing how many partners one wishes to be involved with rather than accepting social norms which dictate loving only one person at a time. Polyamory is from the root words Poly (meaning “many”) and Amour (meaning “love”); hence “many loves” or Polyamory.

Talking about polyamory is too much for one blog post and I couldn’t even really talk about as any sort of expert on it. As I said I have just recently discovered the term. I do plan to use this blog to write about my experiences so that people like me can learn from me and also so that I can seek advice from any of you who are out there that can offer it.

Part 3- My Girlfriend

This is the exciting part. I have a girlfriend. She and I have been dating about 2 weeks. She’s quite amazing and she blushes when I say that. I don’t know why because it’s true. I also won’t go into much detail about her at this time because I haven’t gotten explicit permission to do so. So until I do, all you really need to know is that she’s beautiful but more importantly she makes me happy.

Part 4-Why Post all this Online?

I no longer want to hide who I am, but more importantly and less selflessly I no longer want others to feel that they have to hide either. I want to help inspire others to live life to their fullest and to be happy. I want them to find courage in my posts and stories and be able to go to school and face their classmates. I want people of all orientations, gender identities, and life styles to feel that they don’t have to be ashamed because they don’t fit into the norm. I’ve heard so many stories and felt the pain of losing friends for telling them of who I was. I do not want this to continue any longer. I may be only one writer, but it has to start somewhere.

So please share my posts. Pass on the acceptance and love. Stop the social conditioning that this has to be swept under the carpet and not spoken about. I wish I knew a fraction of what I do know when I was first learning about myself in high school. We need to be able to inspire change! It has to start somewhere!