Nighttime Monster

That’s right…Insomnia. It’s a terrible monster that robs sleep, dreams, productivity, and peace. I’ve been trying to go to bed a regular hour and going through the motions to try to get in the habit of going to bed. I lie awake with my thoughts turning and racing. I go through my breathing exercises and visualization exercises and prayers. I’ve taken my sleep aids. I don’t find much relief.

I’m going to make an appointment with a psychologist tomorrow. My current one is no longer covered under my insurance. It takes time to get into the doctor and the first appointment is the intake appointment. I’m currently in the process of adjusting/switching meds so it’s going to be a confusing couple of visits. The medication that I am is to treat my OCD and anxiety. Right now, it’s not really doing the job. I’m up to my full dose. It takes time to get to the full dose because it causes upset stomach. The hope is that on a full dose that the OCD will be treated and the insomnia will start to get better. Unfortunately, the insomnia is only getting worse which makes me think that the medication is causing the insomnia. I’ll know more once I meet with the doctor.

I don’t want this to be a negative rant, but it has kind of turned out to be. Insomnia strips me of so much. I feel like tired all the time because I’m either over sleeping or under sleeping. I am on working on cutting out caffeine. It hasn’t made a difference. I’m meeting with a friend to discuss essential oils to help get relief as well.

These troubles remind me of one of my favorite songs. Blessings by Laura Story.
‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise’

I know He has a plan for me through this. I will be a better and stronger person. I just need to weather the storm. I keep holding onto to the truth that sometimes the reason we weather storms is to build our faith. This may not be the case for this situation However since I don’t know the reason, it’s a good enough reason to hold on to. I just know that God has a plan that that He won’t let me fall. I’m sharing my story with you because I know that someone out there can benefit from knowing that there’s someone else struggling with something similar. Please let me know if you’re out there. (I could benefit from it too)

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